This is, yet another, long, sermon-like post. But I hope you will read it all the way through. Or if you have to take a break and come back and finish it later, all well and good. I know many of us have short attention spans - I'M ONE OF THEM! ...now what was I talking about? Oh yeah. But I believe there is something here that everyone can walk away and gain something in the end. If you do finish reading this entire post, I greatly thank you...but my desire is that you will find something of worth for your heart and for your life. My request that you read it all is not for me...but for you. May God bless you with every word.

Faith has been a...well, tiny subject between a particular friend of mine and me. She expressed to me the other day that, for certain reasons, she has none. As I was thinking about faith, and a particular book I am reading called "Mustard Seeds" (by Lynn Coulter), and many other factors (such as August 5th *wink*), I decided to do some research on the mustard plant and in particular, the black mustard seed (brassica nigra, hence my title of this post) variety. (Go figure, for all the vastness of the internet, just trying to find some "fast facts" about the mustard seed was becoming a bothersome task...but here is what I was able to dig up.)

+ A few theories exist about the origin of the word "mustard". One theory reasons that "mustard was called Sinapis. Some students claim that during Roman times the word Sinapis started to be replaced by words such as Mustum, Mustarum, and Mustardum as new wine, or "Must" was mixed with mustard seeds to make a paste."
+ The name, mustard, comes from the Latin words “mustum ardens”, which means “burning wine” and refers to the flavor created by the spicy heat of the crushed mustard seeds mixed with the juice of unfermented wine grapes. [source]
+ Black mustard plants grow on average to 10 feet tall, developing dried stalks which are tree-like. [source]
+ Black/white mustard seeds average between 1 to 3 mm in diameter - not the smallest seed, but the small non-cultivated seed common to Jewish agriculturists. [source]
+ Mustard seeds are wild plants, not a garden vegitable. [source]
+ Black mustard seeds need a good source of sunshine in order to grow and require no human intervention; they have also been known to sprout within a day. [source]
+ The black mustard (Brassica nigra) is generally described as an Annual Forb or herb. This Dicot (dicotyledon) is not native to the U.S. [source]
+ There has been recent research into varieties of mustards that have a high oil content for use in the production of biodiesel, a renewable liquid fuel similar to diesel fuel. The biodiesel made from mustard oil has good cold flow properties and cetane ratings. The leftover meal after pressing out the oil has also been found to be an effective pesticide. [source]
+ Mustard seeds have been used for medicinal purposes. [source]

Jesus, as many of my readers are likely familiar with, used parables to explain deeper spiritual and life Truths to help His audiances understand what He was explaining to them. They were illustaitions with a point. And the parable of the mustard seed is more impressive, I think, when you stop to examine some of the facts of the mustard seed.

The parable of the mustard seed is recorded in three of the Gospels:
Matthew 13:31-32: Here is another illustration Jesus used: “The Kingdom of Heaven is like a mustard seed planted in a field. It is the smallest of all seeds, but it becomes the largest of garden plants; it grows into a tree, and birds come and make nests in its branches" (NLT).
...and...
Mark 4:30-32: Jesus said, “How can I describe the Kingdom of God? What story should I use to illustrate it? It is like a mustard seed planted in the ground. It is the smallest of all seeds, but it becomes the largest of all garden plants; it grows long branches, and birds can make nests in its shade” (NLT).
...and...
Luke 13:18-19: Then Jesus said, “What is the Kingdom of God like? How can I illustrate it? It is like a tiny mustard seed that a man planted in a garden; it grows and becomes a tree, and the birds make nests in its branches” (NLT).

Now, consider this verse, "Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see" (Heb 11:1, NLT). In a world where we are surrounded by demands of proof, evidence and reproducable events (scientifically speaking), it can be very difficult to have trust in...something...someone...that we cannot even see, or hear, or touch, or smell, or taste. When it comes to believing in God, our senses are virtually useless. Why would God do that? When He calls us to believe in Him, why does He seem so distant? So inacccessable? When all we want, for many of us who are at least begging for some snippet of something "grasps-able", why does God seem to withhold clarity for His existance? How can faith in someone we haven't even experience (or if we have, our experiences can seem fleeting) make so much of a difference?

I'll admit, I have no easy for this. And what I hope to share here probably will leave some (or many? I hope not...) still asking for answers. I am sad to say that I can only hope that what offer will aid you in seeing that God is real... While I may not be able to provide substantial proof, I do hope to offer clarity that will make your investigation easier and more understable. For even I am always searching, even though I know in my heart (and with my own personal experience) that God is, indeed, real and who He says He is through the Bible. But even my own testimony may be still lacking when it comces to offering help when all you may be wanting is just that little, elusive thing, called faith. If nothing else, it all begins with a willingness to search and to not give up. For God said that all who seek Him will find Him. But you must not quit seeking. I hope this aids you in your search.

The disciples of Jesus' day were pretty much your average Jew. They were very familar with (Old Testiment) Scripture. It was more deeply rooted in their life and culture than fast food is a staple of American life. But just as we are today, even with all the research and historical documentation and more, they, too, often found God to be a mystery. There were many things they didn't understand. Even King David, in many of the Psalms he wrote, expressed confusion. He didn't understand why God did certains or allowed certain things to happen. God was much bigger than even the wisest man could fully comprehend. But each of these men (and the women, too...contrary to any cultural aspect, women were just as important) found Jesus to beyond normal comprehension. Their lives revolved around the physical...the "natural", as we would know it. So when when the man who proclaimed that He was God came around, even after numerous miracles, the disciples were often amazed and confounded, "The disciples were amazed. 'Who is this man?' they asked. 'Even the winds and waves obey him!'” (Matt 8:27, NLT).

The struggle with faith often involves having to be willing to accept something goes beyond our normal boundaries of understanding and experience. Galileo was sentenced to life of in-home imprisonment for his proposal that it was the earth that revolved around the sun, and not the other way around. Such propositions were astronomically significant. While I'm not well versed about the history and culture of Galileo's day, I do know that what he discovered about our own universe would have a deep impact on how people viewed life and lived. Galileo's discovery called for faith...a willingness to accept something that went beyond what everyone else understood or comprehended. And yet we now know that he was right. Imagine if held to the belief that the world was the center of the universe..."Houstan, we have a problem," would take on a whole new meaning.

It's also been said about faith that it is the evidence of things not seen (similar to Hebrews 11:1 that I quoted earlier). What is this thing we call evidence? Well, in layman's terms, evidence is that which points to something else. Knowing that a glass cannot move on its own, finding a broken cup on the floor would suggest that something (or someone) caused it to fall and break. We may not have all the facts about what happened, but we have faith, by the known evidence, that there was a cause that led to the glass ending up on the floor. Another way to put it is that we trust in normal cause-effect laws.

I think a better illustraition is the one where someone stands behind you and you fall back towards them. You cannot see them. You're blindfolded and your ears are plugged. Now if this is your first time falling back towards this person, I'm sure you'd be feeling a bit apprehensive. But imagine that they do, in fact, catch you. All is well. Now suppose we set you right back up and tell you to fall back again. Well, previous experience says that they will catch you. But logic suggests that the past does not always dictate or predetermine the future. But, after all is said and done, the person catches you just as before. In time, after enough repeat catches, you can begin to develop a sense of trust. Makes sense, doesn't it? The person hasn't dropped you yet. But for each instance, even with the growing experiences and the level of trust you have also put in person that they will, indeed, catch you, you must exercise faith...

So in this example, what is faith? Well, if faith is the evidence of things unseen, the evidence is that the person has repeatedly caught you every time you fell backwards. The unseen is that moment just before they have the opportunity to reach out and catch you...or let you drop.

Faith can be rather scary in that light, huh? Is it any wonder why many of us have so much trouble believing in God? ...let alone people we can see. Truly, if you are one of those people, I do understand and I don't blame you for having a hard time trusting God...or even believing He exists at all.
But a willingness to trust God - to let Him work things out in your life on His time and in His way - can and will open doors that will allow you to rest easy knowing that your faith will find you well as can be when that moment of truth - will you be caught? - comes to light.

If you don't even take the risk - yes, it's definitely a risk - and put your trust in that person that they will catch you, then the question of faith will never be answered. That's definitely asking a lot when we only have one life to live. But if you'll accept my own testimony at all, I assure you, it is a worthwhile risk, for sure.

Jesus asked the people to consider how much God takes care of the birds and the flowers. And then He asked them take note of the fact that we - the humans of the world - are far more important, the most important of all Creation, than the birds and flowers. "How much more will the Father in Heaven take care you!" Jesus said. Even with all the times that God took care of His people in the Old Testiment accounts, the disciples still had a hard time grasping the power of God. "The disciples went and woke him up, shouting, 'Lord, save us! We’re going to drown!' Jesus responded, 'Why are you afraid? You have so little faith!' Then he got up and rebuked the wind and waves, and suddenly there was a great calm" (Matt 8: 25-26, NLT).

Jesus was in the boat with them, as it rocked back and forth on that huge lake that not too far off from the sea that boarders the westside of Judea. The waters were certainly something daunting to behold. So it's understand, from that point of view, why they were afraid. But they were focusing on their fears, not even putting so much as a bit of trust that God was with them and would care for them. Why so little faith, Jesus asked. And He put the source of their fears to rest. They asked, Who is this man? They did not yet fully grasp God, even in a human understanding. It would take time before their faith would truly start to grow.

Later on, in Matthew 17, the disciples were trying to cast a demon out of someone but were unsuccessful. Jesus replied when they asked them about this, "You don’t have enough faith,” Jesus told them. “I tell you the truth, if you had faith even as small as a mustard seed, you could say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it would move. Nothing would be impossible" (Matt 17:20-21, NLT). I've often wondered why I seem to fail at things I attempt to do when God says I can. Even with the tiny bit of faith I feel like I have, it seems to be not enough. And as I've wondered about this, I wonder if maybe it's because I doubted. That was certainly true of Peter when he walked on the water before Jesus but later started drown when focused on the waves that were about to overtake him. Even then, Peter's faith was small. But it was his doubts - his removal of his faith in Christ's power - that caused him to slip. But whether or not doubts are truly the reason for failed attempts at something God says I can do, one thing has been made very clear by Jesus' own words: that faith the size of a mustard seed can do wonderous things. I suppose if I tried and failed to cast out demons, it may not be because of any doubts...I've never tried. I wouldn't know prior to the moment if I even could. I have to also consider my own spiritual maturity and understanding. (I certainly couldn't tackle a trigonomtry class without having at least basic algebra well understood.)

But I'm starting to get a bit off focus.
You see, the mustard seed is tiny. At first glance it may not seem like much anything could come from it. (And it is by far not even the smallest plant seed in existance.) But such a small plant prouduces quite a good-sized plant when fully grown. And if you recall my fast-facts at the beginning of this post, a lot can happen just after it's first planted. That moment when you first trust God and you find that He wasn't ever going to let you down, that's when you planted your seed, and the next, up pops a mustard sprout. Indeed, in good condition, a mustard plant only takes a day to begin to grow. By the end of the season, a tree-like mustard plant as high as 10 feet will before you...all from a tiny seed.

I have often found myself discouraged because I want to be like the men and women I admire because of the faith in God and the spiritual maturity and Biblical understanding and wisdom. And almost as often I have to stop and remind myself, it took them time to become like that. It took discipline and a willingness to keep on putting their faith in God even when circumstances said it futile or unreasonable or illogical. It took time to study and investigation to find the truth in and understanding of the Bible. And while I'm sure my faith sprouted very early, I have sometimes wondered why I don't seem to be as tall as all my other fellow Christians. Well, just like the mustard seed, it doesn't take much to get it grow. But it does need a good source of sunshine. As a Christian, I need to keep on seek the Light of the world: Jesus.

We can't even begin to trust Him unless we start doing things God's way. applying what know of His love and His laws. I'll definitely admit that God confuses at times. I don't get His ways. They're so different from the way I live life in general in this world. But I can safely say that when I keep on applying God's ways in my everyday life, they more they start to make sense. It takes time. Just like that mustard seed (of faith). And God is so good at nurturing us.

You see, the black mustard, in particular, is not a "tame" plant. It doesn't require cultivation in a garden. It doesn't require regular care and tending to. It's a wild plant. But even then, out there in the desert, where many mustard plants are found, God cares for them. And they grow tall and strong, able to support birds even for their nesting or at least provide good shade (which in the desert is a BIG deal!).

So in you, God will take care of your faith. He will provide ways to help it grow. But unlike the mustard seed, which is nothing more than a plant, you must be willing to accept God's care so that your faith may grow after all. Living life God's way - particularly as a Christian - is one of a relationship. And no relationship survives when one person alone is doing the work. Each person must provide something.

Another thing stuck out to me as I was looking up the facts about the mustard plant. Namely that it is not a native plant to the USA. It was brought over from overseas centuries ago. Faith in something that we cannot see is foreign to us. Because we turned away from God as far back as the Garden of Eden, being able to see God or hear Him or feel His presence (all things I deeply long for, as does my friend who confessed a deep longing to hear God's voice despite her struggles to even have faith in Him) has become alien-like. A concept as far from rational thought as Pluto is from Earth. We must be willing to accept faith when it is presented to us. When the evidence is found, we must trust that it leads to the source of that which provided the evidence. There will be people who will try to mislead you. Sadly, many Christians and non-Christians have fallen pray to such people...people who have a serious hatred for all things God-related. God and Jesus, throughout the whole Bible, often warn to be careful about those who would mislead us, saying they come in the name of God, but do nothing that is of God. (And that's not to say that everyone who claims to be of God is there will ill intent. It just means, be careful. All the more reason to carefully search out the evidence that is there.) Like my example about the broken glass earlier. If the suspect was a child who said the cat did it, but we know that the cat has been outside all day...well, we can easily determine that the cat is not guilty. The checking for fingerprints on the cup might ultimately lead to proving the child is the one responsible. It's just a simple matter of examining the evidence. The truth is there. It just has to be searched out. And if you want to find out that God is real after all, you only need to have faith that the evidence will lead you to the truth. (Because truth can't be anything other than what it really is. So if God is real, then you'll find Him.)

Faith is not an easy thing to rely for many of us. Pain, disappointment, confusion, and many other things can get in the way. I've been a Christian since I was 5 years old. At the time of this post, I have been one of God's sons for over 20 years....almost 25. And even after a quarter-century as a Jesus Freak, I still find myself from time to time plagued with things attack my faith, that make me question God's reality. While I love fantasy stories, such Narnia especially, I want what is real. I don't want to go chasing pipe dreams. And the laws of God according to Christian Scripture certainly doesn't always make for a "happy time". But I have found worth in the ways of God. More than a "what works for me" deal (because most of Christianity, if I had MY way, is not something "works for me". But Christianity does work. And my faith, as often as it has been tested, and as often as I have struggled to trust that God is real and that He cares and that He loves me no matter what...my faith has been rewarded with clear proof that it was not in vain. I can only say that if we want reproducable evidence that God is real, then we must take it on a invidual test. For God works with us on a one-on-one basis. You must be willing to believe in Him, even if all you have is just enough faith to believe that He might possibly be real. God can and does work that tiny, mustard-seed-like faith.

The mustard seed is a tiny, supposedly useless little speck. But given time and care, it will grow to produce a sturdy tree-like plant. And the uses of even the mustard seed, itself, are many. Let God use you, no matter how small your faith. Even if your faith is weak and you have trouble believing, remember that God uses the weak and the poor and the failures (according to the world, at least) to do powerful, worthy, and successful things beyond the scope of anything we could imagine. If faith as tiny as a mustard seed (or smaller!) can move mountains, then that's some pretty amazing faith you've got there.

...now I wonder what God would say about relish... I'm a big fan of relish.

BIBLE / CHRISTIANITY
- The purpose of the Sabbath
- Heavenly recognition --> currently in progress
- "Contradictions" in the Bible
- That which is GOOD yet perverted
- Common misunderstandings about Christianity --> see my post here for more info
- What the Bible is and is not
- Idols and strongholds
- Christianese: understanding Bible-talk

PEOPLE / RELATIONSHIPS
- Ways to bless a man and a woman
- The strengths of a man
- Men & Women: an insight to how they think
- How I met Belle --> This will be Xanga Friends ONLY post
- The five love languages
- The beauty and purpose of sex (in marriage)

BOOKS
- Commentary on "Redeeming Love", a Christian romance novel
- Commentary on "Mustard Seeds"

LIFE
- The difference between good and evil: it's not what you might think
- Interview with a friend about the reality of prostitution and getting women out
- Why pain exists and what we can benefit from it

OTHER STUFF
- My favorite Subway sandwich
- Samsung vs LG vs Sony Ericsson cell phones: What I like about them
- The joy of tea! --> This will probably be a short post...what am I saying? This is me! I'll make this into a book before ya know it...

It has been my observation that when we use the word "consequence", it's in a negative form. Most notably in the statement, "...suffer the consequences." But this can be rather misleading, I think. So sit with me, if you will - but then, I don't know many people who regularly stand at their computer or with laptop in hand while surfing the web - and let's take a closer look at this word: consequence.

The following is from dictionary.com:
consequence
c.1380, from O.Fr. consequence "result," from L. consequentia, from consequentem (nom. consequens), prp. of consequi "to follow after," from com- "with" + sequi "to follow" (see sequel). Sense of "importance" (1602) is from notion of being "pregnant with consequences."

Don't worry if that all didn't make sense - I barely followed it myself. But what I hope you noticed is the part I highlighted in yellow. As I was thinking about this simple word, consequence, it occurred to me that, even without the word history, it's almost self-explanitory. Con-sequence. Sequence. A word that means "the following of one thing after another; succession." In layman's terms, a consequence means "(an action) that comes with a result".

So let's break this down with some examples:
1. You have a rumbly in your tumbly --> you eat food --> happy tumbly (speaking of which, I need some food right now...)
2. The table gets bumped hard --> the glass of milk falls and rolls off the edge of the table --> someone cries over spilt milk

So with that in mind about consequences, I want to move on to my main thought: that of forgiveness.

Forgiving someone is the act of pardoning the debt someone owes you. Somehow, the debt will be fulfilled another way or remain as it is. Either way, you don't have to provide the means to make things even again. You have been released from the chains of the debt that obstructs your every other part of life.

But I want to try to take this deeper and explain why forgiving someone and being forgiven is such a big deal. It's literally a trap for both involved when unforgiveness is part of the situation.

Let's look at it this way...
You are given a product or service for which you must pay, but you do not have the means to pay it in full. So you are given the option to pay for it in payments. Which you do. But until you do, you are in debt to the one who gave the product/service. Simple, right? A simple matter of bringing things to a balance again. All you need is an income and you have the means. Soon enough, you're no longer in debt. You're free.

But things start to really get more difficult when interest is added on. Not impossible, but no longer are you dealing the original amount for the product. There is now a fee for having a balance at all. A percentage of the current balance is calculated and added to that current balance. As long as you can pay at least the minimum monthly payment, you'll (eventually) get free of the debt. And until that debt is paid in full - interest and all - you are trapped. You are now at the mercy of your amount of income.

But now let's imagine that for every debt that goes unpaid, there is a 100% interest fee calculated. (And ya know credit card companies wish they could charge that much, too!) If you owe $100 originally, at the end of the day, a 100% interest charge is calculated. You now owe $200. Even if you manged to pay $25 before the end of the day, that leaves $75 + 100% * $75 = $150. I currently make $8.57/hour. Even at 8 hours per day (I wish...blasted retail crap!), that's not much more than $64 a day! I will always be short! In fact, unless I'm somehow able to get a better income, I have NO way to pay my debt in full. I am now at the mercy of my debtor.

And that, my friends, is where we are with God.

Jesus said in Matthew 5:48, "But you are to be perfect, even as your Father in heaven is perfect" (NLT).

Jesus must be crazy, right? Everyone knows we can't be perfect. That boat has come and gone and we weren't even on the docks to board. But what's the big deal about being perfect in the first place? Well, it's like this. There's this thing called consequence. Remember that from earlier? God knew that the first sin we committed was enough to seperate us from Him and put us on a one-way trip to Hell. If God was water, then when He created us in His image, He made us to be water, too. But sin caused a chemical reaction that caused us to behave like oil. We all know from science class (or if you didn't know that, now you will) that water and oil don't mix. They will swirl around each other like liquid ying yang, but will never flow together as one. (And I don't recommend drinking a glass of liquid ying yang.)

So now we're oil. We're incompatible to be in the presence of God because God said, "Be water, for I am water"...or something to that effect.

Here is why being "good enough" doesn't work in God's book.
Do you remember your fractions from elementary school? (I know, I know, for some of us, that was hell on earth! ... geometry & pre-calc wasn't much fun for me, and I loved math!) Well, I'll try to break it down for you.

As you may (or may not) remember, the top number is the numerator, and the bottom number is the denominator. You may have heard of the American monies being called "denominations". Sounds like church denominations, huh? It's the same principle. A denomination is simply a "break down" of a larger, whole group, to put it in layman's terms. In church, it's the different group of believers within the larger group of like-minded believers (Baptist, Assemblies of God, Community, Lutheran, etc, but all still of the Christian faith). In money, denominations are the different monetary amounts of currency ($1, $2, $5, $10, etc, but all still part of the American currency). Concerning life, denominations are the choices of Good or Evil that we face (the choice to love, the choice to steal, the choice to work hard, the choice to lie, etc, but all still choices).

So the denominator in this life fraction is that of all choices we have made up to that point in life. Good or bad, that number will continue ticking, getting larger by the day...the hour...the minute. It is oblivious to anything else.

Now the numerator is the one that most everyone has problems with in this life fraction example. Why? Because we want to think one of two things 1) that it's equal to whatever the denominator is, or 2) that it's higher than the reality of the matter (making for that "good enough" mentality).

When God said, "be holy/perfect as I am holy/perfect," He expects that numerator to match up with the denominator. Be whole. Be one. Be like Me, says God. For every opportunity that God gives us in life - the denominator - and every temptation we face and every little choice that leaves us with a decision to obey God or not, the numerator of life will be affected.

Do not worry, the numerator will never get smaller. God does make note of the good we do. But it doesn't matter if we have sinned even just once, having a record 2nd only to Jesus, or sinned most of our lives. Because the standard is PERFECTION. But none of us are perfect.

This is a powerful passage. Read it slowly. Read it carefully. This is God's love for us:
"For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard. Yet God, with undeserved kindness, declares that we are righteous. He did this through Christ Jesus when he freed us from the penalty for our sins. For God presented Jesus as the sacrifice for sin. People are made right with God when they believe that Jesus sacrificed his life, shedding his blood. This sacrifice shows that God was being fair when he held back and did not punish those who sinned in times past, for he was looking ahead and including them in what he would do in this present time. God did this to demonstrate his righteousness, for he himself is fair and just, and he declares sinners to be right in his sight when they believe in Jesus" - Romans 3:23-26 (NLT).

Now, if you read one of my most recent posts about the Law and Grace of God, then you already have a good understanding of what Paul is talking about when he mentions God demonstrating Himself as right and fair and just. God forgave us. He pardoned us from the consequences that our sin demanded. When we turned away from the source of Life, death was the only option. There was and is and never will be any middle ground.

I know this is already rather long, but hang in there. I'm getting closer to my main point of this entry (thanks to all who endure my wordiness. lol).

There were still consequences to our sin, but Jesus took them for us. The ultimate death? Hell. Total and complete separation from God. Do you recall when Jesus, while on the cross, moments before He gave up His spirit and breathed His last, He asked the Father, "Why have you forsaken me?" That's what sin DOES, and Jesus took on the punishment of ALL our sins...sin, the act for which the consequence is death, and complete and utter voidness of God's presence.

So why is that all important? What was the point to let Jesus take our place when we deserve the consequences of Hell?

Because God created this ENTIRE universe for us. He created it to show us the depths and the expanse of His love for us. He never wanted to be separated from us. He wants to be close to us deeply. H wants to lavish you with blessings and gifts and for you to be able to know that when you call out for Him, you can feel His presence and His peace.

But because of sin, even being able to know that you know that you know God is trustworthy and loving is difficult because we are separated from Him. And were it not for God sending His Son to take our place, to suffer that death, that separation from the presence of God, we would have no hope. No chance to realize that God DOES love us. More than we can understand. Even the strongest Christian alive today who knows "all" there is to know about God is still amazed and humbled at the boundless love of God.

Jesus took our place, so we could stand where He stood before God.

God forgave us of our sins. He pardoned us from the consequences of sin. But justice demanded that the consquences of sin be paid in full. That DEBT still had to be paid. So Jesus paid for it with His life.

As a result, and here is where I (attempt to) explain my point, that pardoning of the sins we have commited allows us the opportunity to come face to face with God, restored, all that separated us removed and the way to Heaven is now unobstructed.

You see, the Bible says that if we focus and dwell on someone's sins and hold a grudge, then we are likely and certain to repeat those same sins, ourselves. This is basic psychology; what we think about the most are the things we are more likely to act on. So if you're always focusing on how someone hurt and offended you, you, yourself, are more likely to repeat those same sins.

God is perfect. His nature is pure goodness. He cannot sin because He sin literally means to be void of goodness. God cannot be void Himself the same way that a glass can be void of water. We are also called "vessels" in the Bible. Vessels hold or carry something. That something was supposed to be God's very Breath of Life (see Genesis 1 & 2). But we rejected that Life and so now we're empty and need God to fill us up again. It was God's forgivness of our sins through Jesus on the cross (that debt we owed paid for by Jesus) that removed the obstructions between God and us.
So because God cannot sin, He "had no choice", so to speak, but to forgive us. Because He is a just God, our actions demanded equal consequences. Because of His love and mercy, and that He did not want to see us perish in Hell, eternally separated from Him, He sent His Son to die in our place. Jesus' perfect, whole, sinless life traded for our sin...and death.

And what about the one who committed the sin against you? When you forgive them, just like when God forgave us, you release them from the burden of carrying their past with them. You actually give them the chance to restore a relationship with you. The pain and damage done for their offense may still be felt, and healing will take time (you don't see scabs just shrinking in mere seconds like Wolverine's healing factor in the comics). But you actually allow healing to take place at all when forgiveness is given.

What if that person doesn't come and ASK for forgiveness, though? There in rests the key.
God's mercy and forgiveness is a gift. Although He would never hold a grudge against us, He could have let us suffer the consequences of Hell. We earned the debt that we could not pay and so Hell was the only outcome had Jesus not died for us.
But Jesus granted us our pardon, and like any gift, the gift is "useless" unless we acccept and recieve it. If we reject Jesus, even though He took our place and suffered our consequence, if we do not accept His gift and step up to the throne of God and say, "Yes, you are my Lord and Savior," then we will still suffer in Hell when we breathe our last here on Earth.

Someday, I will have a child of my own. Someday, they will disobey me. Someday they might break something that is beyond their means to pay for, replace, or fix. That day I will have two choices. I can demand they pay for the broken/damaged item and never let them enjoy the freedom and blessings I give them they would have had had they not disobeyed me...or I can pardon them. I can tell them that they will not have to worry about paying for or repairing or replacing the item. Might I discipline them? Yes. They disobeyed me. And as a result, something was damaged. And I will have to teach them that when they disobey, they cannot think that they won't get in trouble. Because if I let them get by without thinking nothing bad will happen, then they will later do themselves (and others) far greater harm.
But will I hold them responsible for something they cannot hope to fix themselves? No.

No, I will forgive them. I will clean up the mess, myself. I will spend the money to repair what was broken. Or I will simply buy a new item to replace the broken one. I will cover the expense because I have the "perfect" means to do so. I will wrap my child up in my arms and say, "You are still my child, and I love you. I do not want anything to come (or stay) between us."

My child will also have two choices. My child can either accept my forgiveness and hug me back and we'll go play and be close as close a parent and child can be...or my child can reject my forgiveness and try hopelessly to repay me. To somehow make it as if the offense never happened. But all that time will be wasted because my forgiveness covered it all already.

I don't think I can explain it any better than that. :) (And if you've read EVERYTHING I've written here, KUDOS to you! I know I am long-winded.)

God freed us from a fate we could never escape on our own. When we forgive (and seek forgiveness), we allow ourselves to be free of the weight of sin, even if it wasn't our own. We allow relationships to heal. We allow joy and love to flow freely. And justice we demanded (or feared) is fulfilled in ways we never imagined.

Search in your own heart, as I will do in mine... Is there someone you're angry at because you have been hurt by them? Have you hurt someone and want to restore the relationship? Seek forgiveness. GIVE forgiveness. To hold a grudge is like letting a weed the size of a boa constrictor choke the life out of you...and others.

For God so loved the world... you know the rest. :)

I finished reading 464 page Christian romance novel, "Redeeming Love", in just over a week's time this morning at 5:15am.

I'm tired, yet spiritually awake. For the thousands upon thousands of words found in this book, I am speechless as to the profound effect it has had on my life.

It has spoken what seems to be prophetic notes (rather ironic given that the book is based on the book of Hosea in the Bible; Hosea, an Old Testiment prophet) in my heart and present life.
It has reminded me of how much I need God and have simply got to lay down all my questions and fears at His feet.
That I can really, truly be broken before Him with all my shame and sin that I purposely heaped on myself...even when I asked for forgiveness for the same thing the night before.
I am filled with a longing and a hope renewed for God's best...not merely what I hope for, myself.
I don't have to be afraid of God like I have been...afraid of never feeling His praise, His acceptance, His desire for me.

Most of all, among many other things, I am more certain that God loves me. Just because. I have always known it is true...in my head. My heart...still struggles. Not so much now.

"Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love. We love each other because he loved us first" - 1 John 4:18-19 (NLT).